Wednesday, June 30, 2010

week 39 day 4

Two days until the due date. After much thinking and pondering, Mike and I decided that today is the best day to have the baby. Well, ideally we would have already had her but since we can't go back into the past, today is the day. The funny thing is I know I have very little control over this whole situation but I'm going to try anyway.

So I spent the morning walking around the mall, getting a couple of essential items that I'll need when the baby comes, and I walked around Costco grabbing a lot more food than we actually needed and I ended up rewalking around the store to put some food back. Now I wish I had the food but I don't really feel like going back to Costco. There's just an awful lot of people there and that's the last thing I want if my water breaks.

There's only a 10% chance of my water breaking first but I sort of hope it happens first since I've been having these Braxton-Hicks contractions for so long. I'm assuming that I'll definitely know the difference but when I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I'm going to puke or when I have to pull into a parking lot so I can try to relax through a contraction, I'm not quite sure if I'll know, at least not until they're a lot more steady and continuous.

Anyway, the point of this post is that even though I did all that walking this morning and with all the pressure, started to worry that my water was actually going to break, nothing happened. Mike and I went on a 45-minute walk last night and nothing. The only thing different about me is the fact that my hips now hurt. And so as much as I'm working towards today being the day, let's be honest. When have I really received something I really wanted at a time that I really wanted it ... very rarely. And so if you don't hear from us today about having a new addition, don't be surprised. I'm still thinking she's going to wait until I'm induced ... 12 more days.

I'm off to play Wii Fit.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

week 39 day 3

So I keep telling myself, don't blog today. Scare everyone just a little bit into wondering whether we're having the baby. But then I sit here on the computer staring at mentor reports and calendars and other things and think, "Who are you kidding? Just blog." And so I do.

My feeling the contractions have become more regular. I'm also pretty sure the baby has dropped again. This morning I was freaking out because I was afraid she was going to just slip out. I know it sounds impossible but it doesn't feel like it.

Mike's kept his phone on and close by the past couple days at work and whenever I'm not with him. We know it's getting close. I mean, our due date is in three days! With contractions feeling more regular and stronger and the baby feeling like she's about to fall out, he has a good reason to worry. And I'm pretty worried myself. I'm not even sure what this is all going to feel like. If I'm part of the 8% whose water breaks first, is it scary? Is it weird? And goodness, I hope I'm at home and that it doesn't happen at staff meeting tonight. And will these false contractions just slowly become more intense or is it all of the sudden?

And what if it's definitely time to go to the hospital but I've waited and waited to tell Mike so that he can focus on work and then it's time and I can't get a hold of him? Not being able to get a hold of him is a pretty normal, daily thing that happens in our lives, even when his phone is right next to him. It could happen now too.

After all this worrying though, I finally realize that everything's going to be fine. Plus, what good is this worrying doing me? I've got solutions to my problems but more than likely, the bad things won't even happen.

So I go back to daydreaming about what giving birth must be like and what I'm going to do in different scenarios. I've also been reading a great book about babies and so I dream about the ways that I can accomplish the things I need to in order to get the baby to sleep through the night and to not create a fussy baby. But I think it's going to be hard, mostly because we have upstairs neighbors. I hope they've bought earplugs and are ready for the crying ... because I'm certainly not.

Monday, June 28, 2010

week 39 day 2

Yep, I'm still hanging around.

I woke up at 5 am this morning unable to sleep, went back to sleep at 9 am, and woke up at 1 pm. I enjoy naps. I'm looking forward to naps once Katie comes.

Four more days until our due date!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

week 39 day 1

I've got a foot trying to stick out my side. There's just this one place on my belly that she likes to push at. I normally try to grab at it quickly and repeatedly and I don't think she likes it. She always retracts her foot but within a few seconds, she'll put it right back there so maybe she doesn't dislike it as much as we think she does. I showed Mike yesterday and had him do it and that was fun.

I feel like everyday that I get asked how I'm doing, my "doing well" goes down a notch. Today the Bishop asked how I was doing and I said I am fine, but it definitely felt like a lie. I'll probably have to go talk to him about that later. With each day that passes, I get more and more tired of pain and the unexpected and more and more excited and equally scared to have her here with us. I've been told this by many mothers but never realized how true it actually is. It's such a scary, exciting time in life.

It's getting really hard though to watch everyone else with their babies. It makes me more and more excited to have here out here with us and sad that she's waiting so long.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

week 38 day 7

Goodbye week 38.

Mike and I were talking about how grateful we are to have been on the vacations that we've been on before having our little kiddo. At 9 weeks we went on our cruise and Universal Studios (definitely not as fun when you're pregnant - I remember a lot of walking around by myself while the others went on rides) and at 32 weeks, we went to Hawaii. So really, thank you to all of those people who made these vacations possible. They not only made pregnancy go by faster, but they really gave Mike and I some good time together before our lives are never the same ever again.

Today was a long day of work. Unless I'm sitting at a computer entering data, work never really feels like work which is a good thing. But being basically 39 weeks pregnant and being at a conference from 8:30 am to 6 pm ... well, it's stressful on a body which mostly includes contractions, sore feet, and a tired back since it supports a lot of extra weight.

Oh, and my wonderful coworkers gave us a carrier and one of my favorite outfits. So thank you!

It's so weird to think that in 2 weeks, we'll probably have a baby. Am I really ready to be a mom? I still feel like I was just thrown into it but I'm sure I'll pick up on it pretty fast. I mean, I became a Chess master within days ... and then I stopped playing and now I'm right back to where I was a month ago ... hopeless. That's probably a good thing to teach Katie - to stick with things to become better at them - don't just give up once you think you're doing alright.

Daily naps around 1-4 pm are becoming a really bad habit for me. By that time of the day, I'm absolutely exhausted and if I lay down, I'm out for a couple of hours. But I can definitely tell it's something my body really needs ... if only I actually had time for such a long nap everyday. I do find that I'm lacking in other areas of my life when I nap but I think it's okay. Plus I love naps. I mean, there was a reason why I fell asleep in almost every single college class I attended almost everyday.

Hello week 39. Please bring us good news.

Friday, June 25, 2010

week 38 day 6

Another nearly sleepless night has passed again ...

Last night I went outside to water the lawn and of course, I got mosquito bites. I received 3 last night. The worst part was when I got inside, I saw a mosquito come off of my jacket. It landed on the wall so I smashed it with my hand. It was the bloodiest insect I had ever seen. I'm guessing she took my blood from me so I didn't feel too bad about the mess and oddly felt satisfied until I realized that she took my blood to help her little ones and then I felt bad. I'd be pretty mad if I was getting the necessities for my babies and someone smushed me against a wall. But since she did get me ... someone got me 3 times, I couldn't sleep. The itchiness only increases my RLS so I got up at 6 am this morning and am now exhausted. I've just got to make it until about 3:30 pm until after my meeting and I can rest again.

And while I was outside, giving up my blood for little mosquitoes who will one day, more than likely, suck my blood too, Mike was inside doing this ...

So now, Baby Katie, we are 99% ready for you. If you would like to stay in there until July 12, there's one more thing we can do to prepare for you, but if you want to come now, your bed is ready for you, your toys are clean, your clothes have been washed, your room has been prepped, and your car seat has been in the car for weeks now so dad doesn't forget to grab it while we're in the hospital.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

week 38 day 5

Today's doctor appointment was pretty disappointing and I'm positive the doctor could see it on my face. Nothing has really changed and although the baby is moving down, that's about it. But then again, dilation and effacement really mean nothing other than my body's getting ready so I shouldn't be disappointed.

The doctor began stripping my membranes today and I've been really stressed about it because online, I read about women who said it really hurts. At the end of the appointment today, I asked the doctor about it because I didn't think he had done it. But he actually had already done it and I had no idea. It was surprisingly painless.

Today is mostly disappointing because of last night. Around 10 pm, I began having really intense contractions that were pretty evenly spaced. We thought that this might be it so we stayed up late watching "Mythbusters." But after 3 hours, they stopped and I went to bed. I, of course, still had contractions throughout the night but nothing out of the ordinary.

It's getting tough to just wait around everyday. I mean, I've been working about 40 hours a week which has kept me more busy than I'd like to be, but at the same time, I sit here in front of this computer most of the day working, wondering when anything's going to happen as I work. And nothing ever happens. I've been feeling sick on and off this past week but I think it's just because my body really wants me to rest and I just don't have as much time to rest as I'd like. But I think my friends are right ... I really need to find more time to rest. I just don't like lying around all day, watching movies and television. In fact, it's hard for me to just sit there for an hour doing that.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

week 38 day 3

10 days to the due date. That's a lot of days. Plus if she decides she's going to wait until induction day, that's another 9 days. 19 days is over half of a month. I've been waiting for over a half of a year for her to come out - half a month shouldn't be bad but it is.

She's been moving a lot the past couple of days and I've had quite a bit of pelvic pressure. Hopefully this means she's moving further down in preparation to come out. I enjoy being able to feel her move - it's good to know she's doing well down there.

Remember a couple of months ago when I cried every night because of my muscle above my uterus that felt like it was ripping (and probably was)? Well, now I cry every night because my contractions make me sick to my stomach. And poor Mike deals with me every night. I know he's hoping for one night where I don't try to get out of going to bed or try to get him to stay up with me but I don't think that's going to happen for a while, especially if she doesn't come soon. I absolutely dread going to bed because I wake up throughout the night feeling very nauseated and I know I'm going to wake up the next morning not feeling like I've slept. Waking up every 1-2 hours really deprives you of sleep. But I'm glad our bodies prepare us for late night feedings this way. It'd be quite the shock if I was sleeping through the night and then right after having the baby, I was up most of the night.

Katie is still kicking at my ribs, especially when I lay down. I woke up again this morning to a nice jab into my right rib. I feel bad that she's stuck in such a small, tight area but I really wish she'd stop trying to take out my rib. I'm pretty sure I need that rib to keep her and my other organs safe.

I'm really excited to see what she's going to look like. Although my mom swears that she looks just like me from the ultrasound (I don't think it's that possible to tell with a non-3D ultrasound), I think she's going to be a pretty good mix of Mike and I. Of course, I hope she gets the best of both of us but who really knows. She could get Mike's bushy eyebrows, my small, thin eyelashes, my flat face, Mike's big nose ... but no matter what, I think she's doomed to get big lips. Although when I went to a doctor to get my eyelid fixed last year, he wanted to know if I had my lips enhanced and was amazed ... nope. They're all natural. And I hope that Katie enjoys them.

I'm getting impatient. 10 days. Yikes, that's a long time.

Monday, June 21, 2010

week 38 day 2

It's still crazy to me that I'm at week 38. Where has pregnancy gone? I mean, really. I feel like the first 7 months or so went by so slowly but I really wish I would've taken more time to relax and not be so anxious to get to this point. Plus the time probably would've gone by faster if I hadn't been so anxious. May flew by just like I expected it to because of planning an event for work, moving, and Hawaii ... and then trying to recover from all of those things.

This morning Mike got up to get ready for work and I was determined to just stay in bed until he was ready to eat breakfast. We stayed up late talking and then I had woken up several times during the night feeling really sick to my stomach only to realize after I had more consciousness that it was just contractions - so I was really tired. But as soon as Mike got up and left the room, I received a huge kick right into my ribs. And the oddest part was that she just kept going. I finally was able to push her little leg down a little bit away from my ribs. I thought that they were supposed to kick quite a bit up until about week 30-32. Then they start getting so big that they are running out of room so they can't kick as well but they can still move quite a bit. Apparently Katie believes that she can still kick me pretty good and she definitely proves it.

With all of these contractions and pressure and such, I keep feeling like she really could come any day now but maybe she'll wait until the induction date. I just don't understand how my body is still handling her - my back aches, my muscles around my uterus ache, my feet and hands are swollen, and she seems to continue growing but I don't. Plus with the contractions, I can just imagine poor Katie every time they occur as she gets squished even more into her cramped living space.

Mike and I have been trying to guess when we think she'll come. My dates are (I get three options because ... well, I just do) June 26, July 6, and July 12. Mike's guess is July 6. We'll put a little survey gadget thing on our blog so the three of you who read this can also make a guess because who doesn't like guessing and even better, guessing correctly?

Saturday, June 19, 2010

week 37 day 7

Today was a good day. I woke up earlier than usual for a Saturday (about 9 am) and finally decided to get up. I had a lot of things to do today and definitely not enough time to get it all done (and some ended up not getting done). But around 10:30 this morning I checked my phone to see if it was charged yet and I got an even better surprise - my friend, Kristin who was due 5 days before me had her baby last night!!!

So I spent the next half hour pacing back and forth around the apartment, not being able to focus on anything, and telling Mike about every 5 minutes that Kristin and Chad had their baby! I was so excited for them but so nervous for myself. This morning, being pregnant got a lot more real.

And it was interesting to talk to Kristin about a few of the things leading up to the birth of her little one and comparing and contrasting how different our pregnancies are. As we walked away from the hospital, I was amazed at how many differences there are between me and Kristin. One, for example, is that I have been having pretty consistent contractions for the past couple of weeks, whereas Kristin hardly had any before she went to the hospital.

So it just comes to show that babies are born when they're supposed to be born - a hike to the top of the mountain, eating a plate full of spicy foods, and drinking castor oil doesn't make the baby come out - they all just happen to be correlations ... although castor oil seems to be a pretty popular one and seems to work for a lot of girls but it's not something I would ever want to do. The results seem way too miserable.

A few of my friends from back home got together and we had a little baby shower. It was so nice to be with them and they were so nice to give little Katie the things they did. So thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll have to post a picture later!

Friday, June 18, 2010

week 37 day 6

If you've ever talked to Mike about the birth of a baby, you've probably already heard about this before but I've been thinking about it a lot lately, mostly because the baby is moving quite a bit and for the first time, Mike felt her little foot trying to protrude out of my side this morning ... it's just getting so real every day.

Anyway, when I baby is born, it is suddenly introduced to a whole new environment and it must be scary - I'd be crying too. All of the sudden, the baby needs to breathe air, not fluid. Not only that, but the baby is not squished and comfortable anymore. The baby has to adjust to bright lights, loud noises, and people touching her skin ... I'm surprised there aren't more autistic children with these kinds of changes. It seems like a lot to adjust to.

Remember how last night I wrote this post about staying active, etc, etc? Well, this morning I woke up so sore from playing frisbee last night. Within 30 minutes I felt completely fine again but I just thought it was so ironic how I went on and on about staying active and how important it is and I felt like I had done that, but obviously I had not. I apparently need to be a little more active to not be sore.

Today I said goodbye to my club kids - I'll see them again in about a month but it felt really weird and strange. A couple months ago when I was talking about this week and next week (we have a big conference for work), I just didn't think these days were actually ever going to come and now they're here.

Katie likes to push against my right side. I find it weird that she doesn't ever turn herself so that her little legs push against my left side too, but maybe it's not as easy to turn around as I think it might be. But I feel like my poor right side is going to be all stretched out after she's born so I'll have extra skin on that side. It's unlikely, but I'm pretty excited to find out.

And with every day that passes, my nesting instinct becomes more and more obsessive. I've been joking by saying that before she gets here, it's going to run my life, but now I'm afraid it's not a joke anymore. I'm obsessed!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

week 37 day 5 part 2

So I went to work tonight (aka, a dinner and volleyball) and I got to tell people that we're only 15 days away from our due date! I've been thinking about it all day but it became so much more real to me when I actually said it aloud.

Mike and I threw the frisbee around for a little bit which set off some pretty intense contractions.

And I was thinking about it - I know of some women who would not have gone out 2 weeks before their due date to throw the frisbee around with their husbands. Not because they're not nice but just because pregnancy alone was too much for them. And it's true. Had I not napped right before work at Mike's work, I probably would not have gone out to play with him.

But here are a few things that I think have helped with getting to this point in pregnancy and still feeling a need to go out and play every now and then and being able to:
  • My size. I've gained about 25 pounds so far which is a good, healthy amount for someone who was an okay weight to begin with. Not only that, but I've stayed rather small throughout my pregnancy. Although I feel huge, most people can't tell we're only a few days to a couple of weeks away from having this baby.
  • Exercising. Going on walks, kicking the ball around in the backyard, and playing frisbee has helped me keep up some of my strength and has definitely kept me on the slimmer side. Without exercise, I'm pretty sure I could have easily gained more than 35 pounds which would definitely not have been healthy. Plus, exercising can increase contractions which I am all for.
  • Rest and doing things for myself. Although the things I have been working on lately among other things have kept me really busy (like obsessing over Katie's room) but I've also been able to get rest in when I really need it. I probably don't ever get enough because it seems like I always have something to do or someone to visit with, but rest helps. After I'm well-rested, I make sure that if my contractions aren't too bad, I do things for myself, like get a glass of water, make a snack, do the laundry, dust, start Roomby, etc. It really seems to help me when I don't just let Mike wait on me ... although, every now and then I let him and it's absolutely wonderful.
So those are my tips and tricks. The first trimester was really quite awful and I definitely spent hours every day just lying on the couch, staring at the wall, but I took some good advice I received as I started second trimester to make sure I keep moving, and it has definitely helped!

week 37 day 5

It's becoming more and more real each day. All day I go through periods of excitement that quickly turn to worry. But the next thing I know, I'm excited again.

Today the doctor went over with us when to go to the hospital. It's pretty crazy that this is something I actually need to remember now. I plan to wait to go to the hospital for as long as possible. I'd much rather be at home and comfy than in the hospital - unless it's unsafe to be at home any longer. I plan to watch a lot of television until I have to go to the hospital to deaden my brain ... or maybe I'll work more on becoming better at Chess than Mike. You know, he was on the Chess Team for a month or so at one point in his life - ha. I can't make fun of him enough for that. Poor kid.

I've also gained a pound and a half in the past week so that's good. My poor muscles are feeling the results of gaining weight but I just keep telling myself that in a few weeks, I'll be at least 8 pounds less than I am right now.

So I'm dilated 2-3 cm and 80-90% effaced. This still doesn't mean anything other than my body is still getting ready. I'm still waiting for the doctor to say, "Oh good! This means you should have your baby in the next few days!" But of course, that's NEVER going to happen except for in my dreams.

Which reminds me, I had a lot of dreams last night about the crib, giving birth, and a bean bag chair we ordered for Katie's room. I've been mulling over the chair problem. Rocking chairs are slightly dangerous because little kids get their fingers and toes smushed and they're not that cheap for a nice, new one. Gliders are preferable but they're just really expensive. The ultimate would be a Lazy Boy but if I'm not willing to spend money on a glider, I'm definitely not getting a Lazy Boy. So after some searching, we found a video bean bag at Walmart. We'll put extra filling into it to make it more sturdy but I'm pretty excited about it. I think it'll be a nice place to rest in the middle of the night and it was by far, the cheapest option.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

week 37 day 4

If I was poetic
It might be pathetic
But I'd write an ode to contractions.

They keep me awake
Although they are fake
And I'd just like to get a nap in.

But seriously, I really would like to sleep a little better. I mean, I'm definitely sleeping better than poor Kristin who is itchy all over, but waking up to cramping isn't very fun either.

Last night, Mike and I were quickly walking out of the grocery store when all of the sudden I got a charlie horse in my thigh! I gasped and bent down and Mike immediately thought my water had broke. Luckily it was just my leg but the fact that we're only 16 days away from our due date is pretty scary and I'm pretty worried about my water breaking while I'm out and about. The chances of that happening aren't very high but it could still happen.

The past few days have been weird days. First, Sunday I was really sick with really bad contractions. Monday I had the worst contraction I had ever had - lower back pains, abdominal cramping, pressure on my pelvis, and all the while, Katie was pushing her little feet against my side. That night, while I was asleep, I thought my water had broke and I was feeling some contractions. I decided to lay down for a while and ended up waking up 2 hours later to no water breakage.

Mike and I are hoping Katie will stay in there for just a few more weeks until we get everything taken care of that we need to, but I don't know how likely it is that she will wait. Plus, don't tell Mike, but I secretly hope that she'll come pretty soon. I'm ready for her to be here, I can't stop reorganizing her things and mulling over what I should do about her room situation (it still needs things and needs to be reorganized ... yes, again ... I'm obsessed), and my body would really like to shed some of these extra pounds. I've gained about 23 pounds, which true, it's not much, but to my little body, it's quite a bit.

Monday, June 14, 2010

week 37 day 2

Last night was the first night in a while that I haven't woken up from my sleep because of contractions. Although, they were so bad yesterday that maybe my brain didn't register it as anything new so I was able to sleep through it.

Yesterday I was feeling pretty nauseated. My contractions were bad all day and I think I might have been trying to fight off some sickness I contracted. I can always tell when I'm sick because I easily gag on my toothpaste and I have been gagging a lot since Sunday morning.

Yesterday reminded me a lot of first trimester. I was exhausted and found myself lying on my bed, just staring at the wall for a long time. I didn't have any energy to do anything and didn't want to move or to see anything move or else I'd feel really motion sick. I also didn't want to eat anything. Mike was great and made most of dinner and after all that rest and dinner, I finally felt better.

I'm glad too because we ended up rearranging things again and now have a definite area just for our baby. We moved the desk and computer out of her room and into the living room and more fully insulated the door in her room to make sure spiders and such have a harder time getting into her room. The room won't fully be hers because we have way too much stuff and not enough places to put it all but it should work for now. Someday we'll have more than 2 bedrooms so we have a place to put all of our instruments and such.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

week 36 day 5

We went to the doctor today. I've gained about a pound and a half, my blood pressure is good, baby's heartbeat is good, baby's head is down, and I'm 1 cm dilated and 80% effaced. I wish that meant that she's coming soon but it doesn't really mean much.

I was up late again last night, unable to sleep. I finally fell asleep around 3 am but woke up 2 hours later to bad contraction pains. For some reason, the contractions are always worse at night - maybe it's because I've stopped moving as much. The pressure on my pelvis is always much worse in the evening too. I'm really not sure as to why this is. But it's definitely getting annoying. It's always slightly scary to wake up in the middle of the night to bad cramps and pains.

I don't know how to better explain contractions other than all of my stomach muscles feel like the tighten up. On the way to the doctor's, I had 2 of them (and it's only a 15 minute drive) and then one while sitting in the office (which was about a 2 minute wait). I had Mike feel my stomach and he thought it was just the baby pushing but nope, it was all me. They also feel a lot like cramps. I'm definitely ready to have the real ones out of the way and just have the gift that I get for suffering through them!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

week 36 day 4

I think when I'm more tired, I'm a lot easier distracted. Today's one of those days. I got about 3 1/2 hours of sleep last night and was hoping to sleep in a lot more than I ended up doing. But of course, my brain started reeling, going over everything I wanted to do today, so after laying in bed for 15 minutes, I decided to get up and get to work.

The only problem is that I haven't worked that much. I keep getting distracted. I haven't really finished anything I've started today. My list of things I need to buy next time I'm out has one thing on it. I thought I wrote more things down but I must have been side tracked by something. My bowl of yogurt is still sitting in front of me after an hour. I have unfinished emails and a lot of unfinished work. And do you know why?

I want to clean. I want to use all of those good-smelling cleaners and scrub this place down. I want to reorganize the office/Katie's room. I want to hang up the photos and find a better place for all of the boxes sitting under the stairs to go. I want to move Mike's amps because they're really bothering me. I want to do anything but sit here any longer. My nesting instinct is in full gear today and if I didn't have work to get done, I would follow that instinct and let it run my life today. It would also be easier if I didn't need to be careful around cleaners and if I could lift heavy objects again.

But I promised myself I would sit here until 3:30 pm at least. I'm really slipping on my work for multiple reasons and I'd rather not lose my job. There are only 45 minutes left. I can do it ... I think.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

week 36 day 3

Denial. It's a process that I've been through a few times ... like the first time I saw that I had failed an exam or when I realized that I am married to a completely crazy, nerdy man and I love him more for it ...

... And I think the past 8 months could be described as a denial phase too. Since having a baby wasn't really in our plans for the next couple of years, finding out we were going to have a child soon was a real shocker. I'm definitely used to these - I think that Heavenly Father sometimes has a weird sense of humor with me. I can just hear Him saying, "Yeah, sure Kimberly, you can have a baby in a few years when the time is better for you ... oh, but by the way, having a baby now is a really good idea. Good luck." Ha - I'm okay with it, I just seem to get surprised more often than I feel like I should.

For the past 8 months, I've been scared to death. In fact, sometimes I don't even like talking about the fact that I'm pregnant. I've found myself staring at myself in the mirror crying because this isn't necessarily what I wanted - it's not what I had prepared myself for. I wasn't ready. But when am I ever ready when big changes happen? Never.

Mike has been really excited since September when I told him it was time ... well, after it sunk in for a few days. And I'm glad he's been excited because it's really helped me deal with this fact that in a month, we could have our baby here with us.

Luckily I think I'm finally accepting this fact. It's been 4 straight days and I've just wanted our little girl here with us in our arms, in her crib (that we don't have yet ...), in her car seat as I drive to work, in her stroller so we can go for a walk, and lying around on her blanket while she learns new things. Our upstairs neighbors have a 13 month old and I've been listening to her for most of the day and I'm so excited to have Katie here. Plus, I think I'll have a lot less muscle and back pains.

I'm so ready to get up in the middle of the night with her (our upstairs little girl woke up crying last night while I was still up which reminded me that she'll cry during the night) and I'm ready to spend twice as much time to get into the car than it normally takes me ... I'm ready to be responsible for someone else than myself and I'm ready to find out what it's like to try to squeeze in work whenever I can so that I can spend most of my time with our little girl. I'm ready for spit up, diaper blowouts, crying, laughing, learning to talk, and learning about this amazing world we live in.

So dear Katie, please come soon.

P.S. I had a dream last night that I gave birth to her in our apartment! That was a little scary. So Katie, come soon but not too fast. I'd rather be in a hospital.

Monday, June 7, 2010

week 36 day 2 part 2

Week 36. A good week and a large week. I look big. It's always surprising when I see how big my belly actually is. In fact, as I walk into my work building, I often walk straight to the door, glance at myself in the reflecting windows, back up a bit and am amazed every time as to how big I look. And yikes, I look huge in this picture. Yet oddly enough, I'm pretty small for how far along I am.

And I noticed that it's hard to tell that the baby has dropped. I look different to myself but probably not to you.

The nights seem to be getting harder. The baby is pushing down pretty hard and wow, it's uncomfortable.

week 36 day 2

Yesterday in Relief Society, I sat on "pregnancy row." Okay, that's not what it is actually called but all 3 ladies who are pregnant and due within the next 2 months were sitting on the row. The only difference is that they have kids and I don't but it felt good to be part of a "club." Ha.

Last night Mike couldn't sleep so I stayed up with him. We were up until 2 am playing and talking and then Mike fell fast asleep while I was in the bathroom and I was only gone for less than a minute. Anyway, while I was watching him play Chess, I had a stethoscope and it only took me a few minutes, but we finally were able to hear Katie's heartbeat! That was pretty cool. It was really hard to find but so worth it. Although, now we get to hear her heartbeat every week anyway at the doctor but this way, we can hear it daily! Or hourly!

Although the fact that I can feel her move really helps me feel more calm about the pregnancy. It's hard in the first few months when you can't feel the baby move at all. After a dear friend's miscarriage and with how worried I was already about miscarriage, it was hard to get through the day without wondering/crying/worrying if she was there or if her little spirit was already gone.

Now I just wonder if she's moving enough. She usually moves around 5 am, 8:30 am, noon, 3 or 4 pm, 7 or 8 pm, and midnight. Since her movement doesn't wake me up anymore, I have no idea if she's moving while I'm asleep. But I wonder if these are the times she'll be awake for feedings once she's born. It'll be interesting to see if she is. If so, I can definitely deal with these times. When it's one of these times though, and I can't really feel her move, I start worrying. But usually all I have to do is sit still for a while and then she'll start moving which is a big relief since I don't want to have to go to the hospital before I actually have to.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

week 36 day 1

Yikes! Week 36. I remember writing week 6 back a few months ago. Back then, there were only a few people who knew we were pregnant. We were quite afraid of miscarrying and so we decided to not tell people until almost week 12, a much safer week than 6. And now we're already at week 36. I really wasn't sure if this day would ever come.

I've woken up about every 2-4 hours during the night this past week. At first I was really annoyed because I want to sleep as much as possible before she comes. However, a couple nights into me waking up consistently, I decided that this is a good thing. It's getting me in the groove for the next couple of months.

By the end of the day, my back and stomach muscles all hurt, not to mention the fact that Katie likes to push down onto my pelvis causing me to feel quite uncomfortable. I'm still having some awesome (or not quite awesome at all) Braxton-Hicks contractions and some random ligament/nerve pains. She gets the hiccups quite frequently and I know that most women love it. Hiccups are definitely a good sign that all is well with the baby. But to be honest, I can't stand them, especially now that she's getting bigger. Oddly enough, they add to my RLS in the evening and there's just something that is so annoying about a strong, pulsing rhythm in my belly.

Mike has a really hard time getting up in the morning. I'm usually pretty tired as well (for some reason we always find a reason to stay up past midnight. Last night it was because of Chess) but I still get up when I need to. Mike will usually sleep until I wake him up letting him know that he needs to get up because he's going to be late. This morning, Mike needed to get up for a meeting and had his arm against my belly. I was wide awake from a bad dream but I was just laying there, feeling Katie kick. But this morning, Katie was kicking Mike. I couldn't help but think what a good girl she's going to be ... waking her dad up every morning because he's slept in again. Maybe Katie and I will take turns waking him up since that only seems fair.

We ended up buying a crib yesterday. We've been back and forth on one for the past couple of months, never quite pinpointing which crib we absolutely love. We were going to go with a convertible crib but after falling madly in love with a $400 convertible crib that would turn out to be closer to $500 by the time we bought the conversion kit, we decided that we should just buy a normal crib since toddler cribs aren't necessary.

We chose one and were happy with it but as we turned around, we saw a convertible crib that was a little cheaper, looked similar to the one we had just picked out but it was convertible and had a backboard that we liked better than the normal crib. And actually, we found out later that the "normal" crib was actually a convertible one as well.

Anyway, before we could change our minds, we bought it and got out of that store. We ended up getting the same crib as Kristin and Chad (sorry, we hope that doesn't bother you) and we think it'll work just fine. I still absolutely love the $500 crib but Mike said that if we ever have a really nice house and a baby ... and money, we can buy the crib. The likelihood of having all 3 is very, very slim, but it gives me hope for the future.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

week 35 day 4

We set our induction date this morning - July 12. Unfortunately, the due date falls on a Saturday which means we have to wait until Monday ... if she decides to wait that long to come out. July 12 ... boo.

On a better note, the due date is exactly a month from tomorrow. I like that much better.

In other news, my supervisor is having her twins this morning! She made it all the way to her induction date which is only weird because back in March she started bed rest because her body was ready to push those little ones out. I don't want to make it to the induction date. I realize that the doctor says that there's only an 8% chance of making it to that date, but seeing as I've read and heard about quite a few people who make it to that day, it doesn't seem like 8% is very small.

Ugh ... July 12.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

week 35 day 3

The past couple of days I've had some good uterus pains. I was quite frightened last night when I thought I was having actual contractions. They probably weren't but it made dinner pretty frightful.

Today I've had some good tightening feelings and it's just crazy to realize how close this is getting. We put the car seat in the car just so we're ready for in a few weeks when we're heading to the hospital. Plus this will be good because sometimes Mike's lack of memory prevents him from remembering where things are and we're slightly afraid that he won't be able to find the car seat when it's time. Anyway, as we've been riding around in the car, it seems pretty crazy that we have a car seat all strapped in and ready to go.

I've found that putting a pillow or blanket under my belly helps a little with the muscle pain above my uterus but when I do that, I can feel Katie move a lot. It's pretty crazy how big she's getting. I can also feel her pushing on my pelvis a lot more. It's an odd feeling. I can't really explain it other than it just feels like there is a lot of weight pushing down.

And have I mentioned that sneezing hurts? I rarely ever sneeze but I have been a lot lately and it hurts to tighten all my muscles so much.