week 40 day 3

It's crazy how a simple thing like sitting has become so much more painful in just the last week. Driving in the car is one of the things I hate the most. Sitting in the passenger seat is okay because I can squirm and try to find a comfortable position that doesn't put too much pressure on my back but when I'm driving, it's absolutely miserable. Maybe I cause my own contractions by becoming stressed every time I have to drive since I know how much it will hurt, but contractions hurt a lot while driving. Actually, contractions hurt a lot while just sitting.

Contractions have also started making me feel pretty nauseated throughout the entire day this past week. I no longer just feel sick in the middle of the night - it can happen at any time now days.

I'm excited to get rid of this extra little weight in front. First of all, because that means that she'll actually be out here with us and second, because I'm only about 5 feet tall. Reaching things is already hard for me. But then I have this big belly and it only stops me from getting close to the counter to reach the upper cabinets or even just to reach the faucet. She's just always kind of in the way. I'm just so excited for her to be here and to have less weight on my belly.

week 39 day 4

Two days until the due date. After much thinking and pondering, Mike and I decided that today is the best day to have the baby. Well, ideally we would have already had her but since we can't go back into the past, today is the day. The funny thing is I know I have very little control over this whole situation but I'm going to try anyway.

So I spent the morning walking around the mall, getting a couple of essential items that I'll need when the baby comes, and I walked around Costco grabbing a lot more food than we actually needed and I ended up rewalking around the store to put some food back. Now I wish I had the food but I don't really feel like going back to Costco. There's just an awful lot of people there and that's the last thing I want if my water breaks.

There's only a 10% chance of my water breaking first but I sort of hope it happens first since I've been having these Braxton-Hicks contractions for so long. I'm assuming that I'll definitely know the difference but when I wake up in the middle of the night feeling like I'm going to puke or when I have to pull into a parking lot so I can try to relax through a contraction, I'm not quite sure if I'll know, at least not until they're a lot more steady and continuous.

Anyway, the point of this post is that even though I did all that walking this morning and with all the pressure, started to worry that my water was actually going to break, nothing happened. Mike and I went on a 45-minute walk last night and nothing. The only thing different about me is the fact that my hips now hurt. And so as much as I'm working towards today being the day, let's be honest. When have I really received something I really wanted at a time that I really wanted it ... very rarely. And so if you don't hear from us today about having a new addition, don't be surprised. I'm still thinking she's going to wait until I'm induced ... 12 more days.

I'm off to play Wii Fit.

week 39 day 3

So I keep telling myself, don't blog today. Scare everyone just a little bit into wondering whether we're having the baby. But then I sit here on the computer staring at mentor reports and calendars and other things and think, "Who are you kidding? Just blog." And so I do.

My feeling the contractions have become more regular. I'm also pretty sure the baby has dropped again. This morning I was freaking out because I was afraid she was going to just slip out. I know it sounds impossible but it doesn't feel like it.

Mike's kept his phone on and close by the past couple days at work and whenever I'm not with him. We know it's getting close. I mean, our due date is in three days! With contractions feeling more regular and stronger and the baby feeling like she's about to fall out, he has a good reason to worry. And I'm pretty worried myself. I'm not even sure what this is all going to feel like. If I'm part of the 8% whose water breaks first, is it scary? Is it weird? And goodness, I hope I'm at home and that it doesn't happen at staff meeting tonight. And will these false contractions just slowly become more intense or is it all of the sudden?

And what if it's definitely time to go to the hospital but I've waited and waited to tell Mike so that he can focus on work and then it's time and I can't get a hold of him? Not being able to get a hold of him is a pretty normal, daily thing that happens in our lives, even when his phone is right next to him. It could happen now too.

After all this worrying though, I finally realize that everything's going to be fine. Plus, what good is this worrying doing me? I've got solutions to my problems but more than likely, the bad things won't even happen.

So I go back to daydreaming about what giving birth must be like and what I'm going to do in different scenarios. I've also been reading a great book about babies and so I dream about the ways that I can accomplish the things I need to in order to get the baby to sleep through the night and to not create a fussy baby. But I think it's going to be hard, mostly because we have upstairs neighbors. I hope they've bought earplugs and are ready for the crying ... because I'm certainly not.

week 38 day 5

Today's doctor appointment was pretty disappointing and I'm positive the doctor could see it on my face. Nothing has really changed and although the baby is moving down, that's about it. But then again, dilation and effacement really mean nothing other than my body's getting ready so I shouldn't be disappointed.

The doctor began stripping my membranes today and I've been really stressed about it because online, I read about women who said it really hurts. At the end of the appointment today, I asked the doctor about it because I didn't think he had done it. But he actually had already done it and I had no idea. It was surprisingly painless.

Today is mostly disappointing because of last night. Around 10 pm, I began having really intense contractions that were pretty evenly spaced. We thought that this might be it so we stayed up late watching "Mythbusters." But after 3 hours, they stopped and I went to bed. I, of course, still had contractions throughout the night but nothing out of the ordinary.

It's getting tough to just wait around everyday. I mean, I've been working about 40 hours a week which has kept me more busy than I'd like to be, but at the same time, I sit here in front of this computer most of the day working, wondering when anything's going to happen as I work. And nothing ever happens. I've been feeling sick on and off this past week but I think it's just because my body really wants me to rest and I just don't have as much time to rest as I'd like. But I think my friends are right ... I really need to find more time to rest. I just don't like lying around all day, watching movies and television. In fact, it's hard for me to just sit there for an hour doing that.

week 38 day 3

10 days to the due date. That's a lot of days. Plus if she decides she's going to wait until induction day, that's another 9 days. 19 days is over half of a month. I've been waiting for over a half of a year for her to come out - half a month shouldn't be bad but it is.

She's been moving a lot the past couple of days and I've had quite a bit of pelvic pressure. Hopefully this means she's moving further down in preparation to come out. I enjoy being able to feel her move - it's good to know she's doing well down there.

Remember a couple of months ago when I cried every night because of my muscle above my uterus that felt like it was ripping (and probably was)? Well, now I cry every night because my contractions make me sick to my stomach. And poor Mike deals with me every night. I know he's hoping for one night where I don't try to get out of going to bed or try to get him to stay up with me but I don't think that's going to happen for a while, especially if she doesn't come soon. I absolutely dread going to bed because I wake up throughout the night feeling very nauseated and I know I'm going to wake up the next morning not feeling like I've slept. Waking up every 1-2 hours really deprives you of sleep. But I'm glad our bodies prepare us for late night feedings this way. It'd be quite the shock if I was sleeping through the night and then right after having the baby, I was up most of the night.

Katie is still kicking at my ribs, especially when I lay down. I woke up again this morning to a nice jab into my right rib. I feel bad that she's stuck in such a small, tight area but I really wish she'd stop trying to take out my rib. I'm pretty sure I need that rib to keep her and my other organs safe.

I'm really excited to see what she's going to look like. Although my mom swears that she looks just like me from the ultrasound (I don't think it's that possible to tell with a non-3D ultrasound), I think she's going to be a pretty good mix of Mike and I. Of course, I hope she gets the best of both of us but who really knows. She could get Mike's bushy eyebrows, my small, thin eyelashes, my flat face, Mike's big nose ... but no matter what, I think she's doomed to get big lips. Although when I went to a doctor to get my eyelid fixed last year, he wanted to know if I had my lips enhanced and was amazed ... nope. They're all natural. And I hope that Katie enjoys them.

I'm getting impatient. 10 days. Yikes, that's a long time.

week 38 day 2

It's still crazy to me that I'm at week 38. Where has pregnancy gone? I mean, really. I feel like the first 7 months or so went by so slowly but I really wish I would've taken more time to relax and not be so anxious to get to this point. Plus the time probably would've gone by faster if I hadn't been so anxious. May flew by just like I expected it to because of planning an event for work, moving, and Hawaii ... and then trying to recover from all of those things.

This morning Mike got up to get ready for work and I was determined to just stay in bed until he was ready to eat breakfast. We stayed up late talking and then I had woken up several times during the night feeling really sick to my stomach only to realize after I had more consciousness that it was just contractions - so I was really tired. But as soon as Mike got up and left the room, I received a huge kick right into my ribs. And the oddest part was that she just kept going. I finally was able to push her little leg down a little bit away from my ribs. I thought that they were supposed to kick quite a bit up until about week 30-32. Then they start getting so big that they are running out of room so they can't kick as well but they can still move quite a bit. Apparently Katie believes that she can still kick me pretty good and she definitely proves it.

With all of these contractions and pressure and such, I keep feeling like she really could come any day now but maybe she'll wait until the induction date. I just don't understand how my body is still handling her - my back aches, my muscles around my uterus ache, my feet and hands are swollen, and she seems to continue growing but I don't. Plus with the contractions, I can just imagine poor Katie every time they occur as she gets squished even more into her cramped living space.

Mike and I have been trying to guess when we think she'll come. My dates are (I get three options because ... well, I just do) June 26, July 6, and July 12. Mike's guess is July 6. We'll put a little survey gadget thing on our blog so the three of you who read this can also make a guess because who doesn't like guessing and even better, guessing correctly?

week 37 day 4

If I was poetic
It might be pathetic
But I'd write an ode to contractions.

They keep me awake
Although they are fake
And I'd just like to get a nap in.

But seriously, I really would like to sleep a little better. I mean, I'm definitely sleeping better than poor Kristin who is itchy all over, but waking up to cramping isn't very fun either.

Last night, Mike and I were quickly walking out of the grocery store when all of the sudden I got a charlie horse in my thigh! I gasped and bent down and Mike immediately thought my water had broke. Luckily it was just my leg but the fact that we're only 16 days away from our due date is pretty scary and I'm pretty worried about my water breaking while I'm out and about. The chances of that happening aren't very high but it could still happen.

The past few days have been weird days. First, Sunday I was really sick with really bad contractions. Monday I had the worst contraction I had ever had - lower back pains, abdominal cramping, pressure on my pelvis, and all the while, Katie was pushing her little feet against my side. That night, while I was asleep, I thought my water had broke and I was feeling some contractions. I decided to lay down for a while and ended up waking up 2 hours later to no water breakage.

Mike and I are hoping Katie will stay in there for just a few more weeks until we get everything taken care of that we need to, but I don't know how likely it is that she will wait. Plus, don't tell Mike, but I secretly hope that she'll come pretty soon. I'm ready for her to be here, I can't stop reorganizing her things and mulling over what I should do about her room situation (it still needs things and needs to be reorganized ... yes, again ... I'm obsessed), and my body would really like to shed some of these extra pounds. I've gained about 23 pounds, which true, it's not much, but to my little body, it's quite a bit.

week 35 day 3

The past couple of days I've had some good uterus pains. I was quite frightened last night when I thought I was having actual contractions. They probably weren't but it made dinner pretty frightful.

Today I've had some good tightening feelings and it's just crazy to realize how close this is getting. We put the car seat in the car just so we're ready for in a few weeks when we're heading to the hospital. Plus this will be good because sometimes Mike's lack of memory prevents him from remembering where things are and we're slightly afraid that he won't be able to find the car seat when it's time. Anyway, as we've been riding around in the car, it seems pretty crazy that we have a car seat all strapped in and ready to go.

I've found that putting a pillow or blanket under my belly helps a little with the muscle pain above my uterus but when I do that, I can feel Katie move a lot. It's pretty crazy how big she's getting. I can also feel her pushing on my pelvis a lot more. It's an odd feeling. I can't really explain it other than it just feels like there is a lot of weight pushing down.

And have I mentioned that sneezing hurts? I rarely ever sneeze but I have been a lot lately and it hurts to tighten all my muscles so much.