Friday, January 29, 2010

week 17 day 6

I've been really blessed and haven't been sick this whole pregnancy which is amazing for me because between the months of October to May, I'm sick most of the time.  So far I haven't been sick.

In the middle of the night, however, I woke up sick.  My throat hurt and my head was plugged which is how I know I'm getting sick.  I had work to do today and I had to attend club.  I have felt so nauseated all day and have just wanted to lie down.  Now I'm at Mike's work watching "The Biggest Loser" and finishing up some work and I'm so tired.  And feeling so gross.

I just hope I don't get too sick.

I put on one of my favorite shirts yesterday.  It's been a while since I wore it because I've been wearing the same shirts since my little pudge gain.  Well, I put it on and looked in the mirror.  It looked fine until I looked down and saw the big gaps showing my undershirt between the buttons.  It's fun I've gained some weight for the baby but it was really hard for me to realize how much I've actually gained.

Although I bet it'd fit better today.  I haven't eaten much today from being sick so the area around my stomach is a little smaller.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

week 17 day 4

So I told myself that I would definitely start work by 10 am since I have a bunch of things to write up but it's hard because we had a 7 am staff meeting so that everyone could attend ... 2 people were missing.  Blast them.  So what I'm trying to say is that I have a lot to say but not much time to do so.  Lucky you.

I've been reading this Hypnobirthing book.  It's quite interesting.  There's not many things in it that I feel like I didn't already know but I have enjoyed reading it the past couple of days.  I'll have to expand on it later when I finish it.

Because of a recent event that happened a couple days ago, I have become a lot more paranoid about being pregnant.  Although it's been proven to me 3 times that I'm still pregnant, it's been 3 weeks since I last had proof and I'm stressing ... stressing pretty hard.

Last night I had a dream that I gave birth but I never actually went through the labor part.  They knocked me out because I was really high risk and used forceps to take the baby out.  When Mike and I got to see her, she was absolutely beautiful.  Apparently I had her early so she was only 4 pounds 7 ounces but seemed to be a pretty normal size.  Another oddity was that she was on a meat-weighing scale in Smith's in the meat department.  Odd.

Also, the past couple weeks I've had a bunch of people come up to me and whisper to me, "I heard you were pregnant.  Congrats!"  Or, "___________ told me that you're pregnant, was that okay?"  Or, "I told ________ that you're pregnant.  I hope that's okay."  And for anyone else who might be curious, yes, it's fine.  I've done some deep thinking in my luke-warm (too-cold) baths and I think this morning I discovered the reason why I feel no need to tell anyone I'm pregnant (except family and a few friends).

Two years ago I was engaged and really excited to take another step in my life.  However, two months later it was called off and I had to tell everybody, even people I hardly knew, that I wasn't getting married.  Not then, at least.  A year later, I was nearly engaged again, to Mike this time.  It didn't work out either because we realized we just weren't ready.  Fortunately we stayed together (I didn't know that happened) and were engaged later that year.  I was really hesitant to tell anyone or to talk about it because it's absolutely miserable to tell people that you're not actually getting married.  If you've ever been there before, you understand how awkward it is.  I would walk around and just hope and pray that I wouldn't have to explain the bad news again.  

Well, Mike and I made it through the engagement, made it through marriage, and now have a little one on the way.  Exciting as it is, I still am hesitant to tell people.  I don't want something to happen and then have to tell everyone bad news.  It just stinks.  It's miserable and so hard on the emotions.

By the way, I also had a dream that I squished the baby because I was lying on my stomach.  It was not a great dream.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

week 17 day 1

A couple of nights ago I was sitting around playing the wii when I all of the sudden remembered that over Christmas break, I cleaned out my brother and sister-in-law's cats' kitty litter!  I freaked out until I read more on the topic.  Although it's always dangerous to clean out a kitty litter while pregnant, it's more of a problem if the cats are let outside and eat birds, mice, etc.  Lucky for me, their cats are indoor cats and eat dry cat food.  Phew.

I'm now at 17 weeks.  It's exciting.  It seemed like back 10 weeks ago, weeks close to 20 would never come.  But here I am.  I'm so excited and nervous everyday.  In about 3 or 4 weeks, we'll go see if we can find out the gender of the baby.  In a couple months, it'll be possible to have a premature baby and a good chance of the baby surviving.  It's all just coming so fast and it's hard to believe!

Friday, January 22, 2010

week 16 day 6

Last night I had a dream that I gave birth to a puppy.  Am I stressed about the change that will be occurring in 5 months?  Yes.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

week 16 day 3

I've actually been sick the past couple of days, well, nauseated.  It's weird to feel all of these sick feelings like back a couple of months ago.  Yesterday, a few friends and I went out to lunch and it smelled very strongly of fried foods smoke which is something that I can't stand still.  It was hard to eat my delicious ultimate cheese / pesto sandwich ... mmm.

Also, it may be our fridge that is causing the sickness.  It stinks.  Mike can't ever smell it but it does and I can tell it does.  I don't think even our baking soda knows how awful it is.  There is just something so gross about it.  I clean it out, a good clean out, once a week and every day I go through it and throw out everything that's a couple days old to get rid of the smell.  Somehow we always get more food to put it in, hence the smell.  Yesterday the apartment smelled wonderful from chili and bread baking but now today, it stinks from the left over chili.  Maybe I need to learn how to make foods in smaller portions.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

week 15 day 5

A couple nights ago, I was cooking and looked down to see a whole bunch of food on my shirt.  I showed Mike and said that I knew now why he always comes home from work and school with food on his shirt.  The little belly just seems to prevent food from falling straight down.  Instead, it falls right onto my shirt. 

Speaking of food, today I'm spending the day on campus with Mike.  We got some food and I was really craving my usual Chef Wrap from L&T in the Wilk.  I was about to order when I realized it has all sorts of yummy cold meats that I shouldn't eat.  It was disappointing.  I've decided to add it to my list of things I'm going to eat as soon as our baby comes.  So far I have:
  • sushi with raw salmon and fish eggs ... mmm ... from Happy Sumo
  • a cold turkey sandwich, possibly from Subway
  • Chef wrap from L&T
  • feta wrap from Pita Pit
Mmm, life will be so good again.  

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

week 15 day 4

Note the new picture of our little one on the top of our blog.  Aw.  He's cute.  I think I'm going to keep him.

Today's an emotional day for me.  Maybe it's because I only got 4 hours of sleep all day yesterday and was so sick by the end of the night that I thought I may just throw up for the first time this whole pregnancy.  Maybe it's because The Biggest Loser brings out the emotions no matter what because I'm an advocate of health and these people are finally realizing it's really important in saving their lives.  Maybe it's because last night I found out some of the most exciting news I've heard in the past few months.  Maybe it's because I didn't wake up once during the middle of the night.  Maybe it's because of the songs I've been listening to today:
  • Break Even by The Script
  • Here We Go by Mat Kearney
  • Forgotten by Wideawake
  • Gravity by Sara Bareilles
  • Dreaming with a Broken Heart by John Mayer
  • Falling Slowly by Kris Allen
  • She Is Love by Parachute
  • The Scientist by Coldplay

... that remind of me of some sad times.  And maybe it's just these crazy hormones.  However the case, it's a rough day.  I just hope I don't cry through Mike's sociology class.

On a side note, last week during that class, Dr. Ridge asked the class, "...and since you are all in sociology or psychology, who is one of the most famous psychologists?" as he looks right at me.  I had taken psych 111 and should've known it but instead I stared at him with my eyes wide and mouth dropped open.  I'm not in the major and I'm an Exercise Science major for crying out loud.  We talk about the body and how it functions, not people and why they are how they are.  Luckily the rest of the class knew ... Pavlov.  Of course.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

week 14 day 7

For one of February's activities for my work, we're going ice skating.  I was pretty excited because I haven't been yet this Winter season and am ready to go!  I remember 2 year's ago ice skating events ... Gallivan  Center and fun with Christa and friends but awkwardness because of the people I had told about me being there that made me think maybe I should've never mentioned it ... and ice skating with Mikey ... more awkwardness because he informed me that he had just sat down with his ex to discuss their relationship.  I guess he told her it was over and that he was dating me ... that sounds like a fun experience.  Last year's event was more fun seeing as we were engaged and not talking about exes ...

This year I was excited until moments after thinking of how much I'd improve this year on those small little blades that I remembered, I'm pregnant.  Not only am I currently but when we actually go, I'll be at 20 weeks and of course, won't be able to go.  Bummer.

I feel really blessed and am excited for this new phase of life but there were multiple reasons why I didn't want to have a baby too soon in our marriage.  I thought I had 2+ years to prepare.
  1. I wanted to have a real job (the ones we talk about when we're 5 and then realize they might be crazy ideas as we grow older but still pursue anyway)
  2. I wanted to grow up and mature
  3. I wanted to have a house
  4. I wanted to have a puppy even more than a house
  5. I wanted to watch my friends have their children so I could learn from them
  6. I wanted to have time with Mike as a married couple.  The 16 months of dating were great but I felt like I just wanted time with him ... maybe I'm selfish
  7. And to be honest, I didn't want the responsibility.  It's a lot of responsibility and I'm guessing you can't ever prepare for it, but I was hoping more time would help.
But now we're waiting for a baby and every day I wake up thinking of how I'm going to take advantage of today.  Some days I have great and glorious plans and those seem to be the days where I spend most of my time on the couch or in bed because I'm sick and/or exhausted.  Maybe the planning wore me out.  Other days I complain to Mike that this is our last January 8th, or which ever date it is, childless and we need to live it up.  Some days I snuggle up with Mike because I realize this won't happen again next year because everything will be different.  Even if the baby is sound asleep and we're just cuddling, it won't be the same as right now.

I'm thinking about the next few months and all of the things I want to do together before the baby comes ...
  • celebrate our birthdays together ... I was thinking Bed & Breakfast because the only ones we've been to have been in Italy.  It'd be nice to know what ones are like in the states.  But we might need to do it before our birthdays because am I really going to enjoy it the more pregnant I get?  Well, it might be really relaxing
  • go to the movie theater ... because soon we won't be able to without getting a babysitter.  Although, I don't really like the theater because it's loud, there's germs all over my seat, and I get bored during movies.  But Mike loves movies and I love Mike, so we go.
  • go out to nice restaurants ... soon we won't be able to do that either without getting a babysitter.  Well, maybe we can depending on the niceness.  But it won't be the same with a little one.
  • build a snow bear ... because Mike has been promising for 2 years that he'd build a snow penguin with me and hasn't yet.  We decided a bear would be more appropriate for our relationship a few months ago and perhaps we can make one with pants.  But this is our last chance ... just the 2 of us.
  • sleep in every morning ... every morning I wake up enjoying the sleep (or the fact that I just went to sleep for the first time all night) that I have because soon I won't get the chance to sleep through the night for a while.  Although the little one is only 4 oz, I feel like he's having a hay day in there and my bladder just can't take it.  I'm excited for when he's 4+ pounds and is tossing and turning.  My poor little bladder.  And then up for feedings and crying ... mmm.  Fun.
And these have been my latest worries.  This past week I've been awake most of the night or I get up super early (this morning was 6 am.  Poor Mikey's sick and scares me from my dreams with his coughing and such.  I've never had such a loud, sick roommate before) and wish I was asleep.  Maybe this is just preparing me though.  And during these early hours, I think of my life to come.  It will be so great and so challenging.  Lucky for the kid(s), I love a challenge and as much as I may complain, I almost never give up.

I've been craving pizza.  We made some last week and I thought it was awful.  It saved us money but it's nothing compared to Brick Oven Pizza.  Mmm ...  Maybe Mike will take me there tonight after his work.  Although I'd be happy with anything.  I'm a food addict, lately.  If I go more than an hour without it, I crave it.  My stomach feels like it starts shriveling up and my brain tells me I need food or I might die.  So I eat.

Speaking of food, a couple days ago I was craving fruit.  I was craving it so badly that I was seriously going crazy.  Mike, unfortunately, was on campus with the car and I was losing my mind.  So he returned and took me to Costco to get a big bag of fruit.  He told me that he might need a smoothie and that I probably needed a churro.  I agreed until I saw the ice cream bar on the menu.  I had been craving one.  So we got it and it was amazing.  Ice cream on the inside, dipped in chocolate, and rolled in almonds.  Mmmmm ... Although I hope this doesn't mean that the baby's getting the Corrigan genes with a love for sugar.  This is the problem:  I'm Asian and have a deep love for noodles, rice, sushi, curry, and all the good stuff.  Mike's Irish and has a deep love for potatoes and sugar.  Good luck, baby.

Week 15 ... here we come!

Thursday, January 7, 2010

week 14 day 4

(I originally posted this on the wrong blog, hence the wrong date)

I forgot to mention yesterday that I found out I'm anemic.  I already figured that I am since I don't eat a lot of meat or ironized foods and I have really bad RLS so it just made since.  Iron pills always seem to fix my RLS.  But yesterday when I went to the doctor, he looked at my results from my blood test and informed me that I'm anemic and really need to start taking iron supplements.  I find it odd mostly because my last doctor looked at the exact same test results and said everything looked fine.  It would've been devastating to get into the 3rd trimester and find out I had a serious problem because of my anemia.

By the way, my RLS is at an all-time high.  I haven't slept well the past 4 nights because of it.  Two nights ago I was up from 2 am to 7:30 am wide awake thanks to RLS and the fact that once I wake up, I have a hard time going back to sleep.  This morning I woke up at 6:15 am and didn't go to sleep for an hour and a half.  RLS is awful.  Hopefully being able to take my iron supplements will help.

So as I mentioned yesterday, our little one is at 8.5 cm and 4 oz.  The doctor, before measuring, said that the baby would be about 2 oz right now.  But nope, ours is 4.  He's a fat little one, I just looked it up online to make sure the doctor had his averages correct.  He seems to be right in line for his length though.  But if his weight keeps increasing like this, I am not going to be a happy camper in a couple months.  I'm sure he'll slow down but seriously, what in the world is he eating right now?  I mean, yeah, I may overdose on pasta, sugar, and cheese, but I'm pretty sure he's not taking a whole lot from that.  I think he likes my prenatal pill a lot more.

Also, I just looked up American Fork Hospital because I was really curious to see what I had given up and received from choosing this hospital over UVRMC and I'm really excited.  It looks really nice and I absolutely love that they encourage the baby to be in the same room as the mother.  Mike also gets a nice little sofa to sleep on.  So far it seems like we made a really good switch when we changed doctors 2 days ago.  They support a lot of things that I believe in when it comes to pregnancy and they give me their opinion yet the decision is ultimately up to me.  I like that.  I think the birthing day will be a good one minus my screaming and poor Michael's squished hand.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

week 14 day 3

Mike and I went to the doctor's today.  It was good.  We ended up switching doctors (thanks, Christie) and other than the 90-minute wait to see the doctor, we were very pleased.  He actually explained the next couple of months to us and some issues with pregnancy to watch out for.  Luckily I had done quite a bit of research and already knew most of the facts but it was nice to actually hear it from a doctor.  We didn't realize how much we were missing out on from our other doctor until today.  Our other doctor didn't tell us squat.  It seemed as though he assumed we've had 10 children and didn't need to know any information.

The best part of the appointment was that the doctor did an ultrasound because he had kept us waiting so long and they have them there in their office which is super nice.  He felt bad and tried to make it up to us.  While we were waiting for him to come back into the room, we took a look at all of the posters on the wall.  When he walked back in, he caught us staring and pointing at all of the pictures and of how big the baby is at birth.  I told him it was huge and it's not coming out of me.

So we saw our little guy.  He was just hanging out in the uterus, floating, spinning, and moving his little arms and legs.  It was awesome.  We got a good look at his spine and tried to see if the baby's a boy or girl but it's a little too soon for that.  Bummer.  It was so fun to see him floating around and to see how big he's gotten in the last 8 weeks!  He is now 4 oz and about 8.5 cm long.  Crazy that he's going to triple or quadruple his size before the next appointment!

By today's appointment, it looks like the new due date is July 5 but I'm still hoping for sooner.  I guess we'll just have to see.  I decided if he comes early or on time, he's definitely mine and like me but if he comes any later than July 3, I will be doomed to be late for many, many more years to come.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

week 13 day 7

Today I realized some really great things about my lack of sickness lately and one bad thing.

The bad:  I've had a pretty bad headache for most of the evening but I can't take any medicine and I can't drink any caffeine.  It's rough. I also feel huge today.  No fun.

Good things though:  I cleaned out my grandma's fridge today that had a lot of old, rotten food in it and it smelled awful.  Luckily though, I no longer feel completely sick so I could take the smell and I could look at the food without gagging. 

We also went to Suehiro in Salt Lake this evening for dinner and we ordered tempura shrimp and vegetables.  A few weeks ago I couldn't even look at anything fried.  Today, I devoured it like I hadn't eaten in months. 

I made it through the new movie, "Avatar" which is amazing because it is 3 hours long and I was able to sit through all of it and stay awake.  That's pretty impressive for me.  Usually when I sit through movies, I get RLS pretty badly lately, especially since the pregnancy but not today.