week 39 day 3

So I keep telling myself, don't blog today. Scare everyone just a little bit into wondering whether we're having the baby. But then I sit here on the computer staring at mentor reports and calendars and other things and think, "Who are you kidding? Just blog." And so I do.

My feeling the contractions have become more regular. I'm also pretty sure the baby has dropped again. This morning I was freaking out because I was afraid she was going to just slip out. I know it sounds impossible but it doesn't feel like it.

Mike's kept his phone on and close by the past couple days at work and whenever I'm not with him. We know it's getting close. I mean, our due date is in three days! With contractions feeling more regular and stronger and the baby feeling like she's about to fall out, he has a good reason to worry. And I'm pretty worried myself. I'm not even sure what this is all going to feel like. If I'm part of the 8% whose water breaks first, is it scary? Is it weird? And goodness, I hope I'm at home and that it doesn't happen at staff meeting tonight. And will these false contractions just slowly become more intense or is it all of the sudden?

And what if it's definitely time to go to the hospital but I've waited and waited to tell Mike so that he can focus on work and then it's time and I can't get a hold of him? Not being able to get a hold of him is a pretty normal, daily thing that happens in our lives, even when his phone is right next to him. It could happen now too.

After all this worrying though, I finally realize that everything's going to be fine. Plus, what good is this worrying doing me? I've got solutions to my problems but more than likely, the bad things won't even happen.

So I go back to daydreaming about what giving birth must be like and what I'm going to do in different scenarios. I've also been reading a great book about babies and so I dream about the ways that I can accomplish the things I need to in order to get the baby to sleep through the night and to not create a fussy baby. But I think it's going to be hard, mostly because we have upstairs neighbors. I hope they've bought earplugs and are ready for the crying ... because I'm certainly not.