week 4 thoughts

The cool thing about the way pregnancy and weeks works is that by the time you usually find out you're pregnant, you're already about 4 weeks into pregnancy!  One local mom said that she missed the first 12 weeks of being pregnant with her first baby which I'm sure a lot of women out there wish they could miss - the tiredness, nausea, etc.  But missing the first 4 weeks is also a good thing too.  Well, at least the first 2 weeks.

So I'm about 4 weeks, probably a couple of days too, and I'm seriously the size of week 15 from last pregnancy.  I have quite the little pudge I've acquired.  We're not planning to tell people for a while, assuming that this little baby makes it, but the fact that I have a belly might give it away.

It's interesting because while pregnant, we think so much about taking care of the baby and hoping it makes it so you can see the baby, alive and well.  Well, at least most moms out there think this way.  But it's hard to be as worried once the baby actually makes it.  For example, my cousin's little girl had a stroke yesterday.  That wasn't even something I was worried about with K until today.  While pregnant, I was constantly worried that something might happen to her; it's interesting to me how that constant worry seems to slip away the older the children get.

I'm feeling pretty nauseated today.  Luckily I have shows to watch and a bath to take while K is napping.

Drumroll, Please ...

... Yet again, I have passed another test!  This morning it was a pregnancy test.

To be honest, I'm pretty excited and happy about it.  With all the cramping, the gagging on my toothpaste, the middle of the night awakenings to run to the bathroom, the extreme tiredness, and all the unusual feelings in my body, I would have been pretty bummed if the test was negative.  In fact, when I first looked at it, I thought for sure it was going to say negative.  I watched it intensely for a whole 60 seconds until the vertical line faintly appeared.

So we're having another baby.  It's kind of unfortunate timing but I seriously could not be happier!  Baby #2, bring. it. on!

wishy washy

I'm totally back and forth on this whole pregnancy thing.  Am I pregnant?  No idea.  It's funny how your brain can totally mess with you into thinking things despite how clear an impression is or how much knowledge you actually have. 

I feel like I know my body pretty well and right now, it feels abnormal.  The cramps, the back aches, the extreme tiredness - I mean, it could mean quite a few things and I hope it's not serious - but this just isn't normal.  Not for me, at least.  Walking for 30 minutes doesn't usually result in my crashing onto K's bedroom floor for an hour before I feel like I can get myself up again.

But right now is not really the most ideal time to have a baby.  I want one, of course, but it's just not the best timing.  But I'm so anxious for next week to come to see if I really am pregnant.  Being the non-patient person I am, I already took a pregnancy test and of course it said I wasn't pregnant, but next week it should be able to pick it up for sure.  However, the last time I was pregnant, I don't feel like the tests did very well.  I mean, I took several (you can imagine in your head how many I took, as I definitely won't tell you) and every single time (except for the last) it said I wasn't pregnant.  But I knew it was wrong. 

I guess we'll just have to see.

Already?

Remember when I thought I wanted another baby about 3 months after having Katie?  I must have been absolutely out of my mind!

Because I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant, or at least pretty close to it, and I'm not ready for this at all.  Two kids?  Me?  Ha.

You'd be kidding yourself if you thought I was going to tell you all the reasons why I think a new little Babers is on his way with my family having full access to this blog, but I can tell you a couple of things:  I am EXHAUSTED!  I used to make it to about 2 or 3 in the afternoon before getting tired.  The past couple of days I'm lucky if I make it to 10 am without feeling like I'm about to pass out.  I also have had some serious cramping which I honestly haven't experienced in TWO years!  Well, I mean cramping not related to contractions.

With some major decisions ahead of us, I wouldn't say the timing is impeccable, but we'll make do, as always. 

Baby Hungry

Some days I'm a little worried that I see a cute baby so I want one of those without thinking of consequences.  I mean, they're so cute and cuddly and they don't leave your sight unless you want them to.  K is so busy and so all over the place and becoming so independent that I would definitely love a new little baby around - one that doesn't cry all the time because I won't let her climb the stairs or because she isn't allowed to chew on all of my shoes.

But I guess also, with little babies, comes a lot less sleep for me and a lot more work.