Tuesday, August 16, 2011

wishy washy

I'm totally back and forth on this whole pregnancy thing.  Am I pregnant?  No idea.  It's funny how your brain can totally mess with you into thinking things despite how clear an impression is or how much knowledge you actually have. 

I feel like I know my body pretty well and right now, it feels abnormal.  The cramps, the back aches, the extreme tiredness - I mean, it could mean quite a few things and I hope it's not serious - but this just isn't normal.  Not for me, at least.  Walking for 30 minutes doesn't usually result in my crashing onto K's bedroom floor for an hour before I feel like I can get myself up again.

But right now is not really the most ideal time to have a baby.  I want one, of course, but it's just not the best timing.  But I'm so anxious for next week to come to see if I really am pregnant.  Being the non-patient person I am, I already took a pregnancy test and of course it said I wasn't pregnant, but next week it should be able to pick it up for sure.  However, the last time I was pregnant, I don't feel like the tests did very well.  I mean, I took several (you can imagine in your head how many I took, as I definitely won't tell you) and every single time (except for the last) it said I wasn't pregnant.  But I knew it was wrong. 

I guess we'll just have to see.

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