Strength

First of all, K's neck is getting so strong! When I try to lay her on my chest to calm her and she doesn't want to be calm, she will hold her head up and try to push her body away from me. She is so curious about everything and I love it now ... I'm just not looking forward to when she's mobile. We're going to have to start putting absolutely everything onto shelves to keep her out of stuff, I'm sure.

So when I started this blog, I decided that I would try to be as truthful as possible. I've read other baby blogs and they're brutally honest ... but then again, their identity is usually unknown which makes this blog difficult to write on because I know those who are reading this blog and they know me. So with that said, I'm going to write the following. This doesn't mean I want phone calls and offers to come over and hold the baby because that's not the root of the problem. I'm just going to vent.

So what's the problem? Her fussy period that happens every day in the afternoon and breastfeeding. That's the problem. I, like many other mothers, worry that she's not getting enough to eat. And it's so hard to tell when the afternoon hits and nothing makes her happy. She acts hungry but won't eat. She acts sleepy but won't fall asleep. She just cries. Apparently most babies have these times and I'm very grateful that she cries in the afternoon instead of the evening, but it's hard to deal with. By the time Mike gets home from work or is done sitting at the computer in the living room, I'm so exhausted. I realize there's not much I can do about her crying but to just let her cry, but it's hard. I just want her to stop crying and to make everything better.

My solution to this problem? Strength from Heavenly Father. I honestly don't know how people do this without knowledge of this great plan and why we're here. Without knowing that a reason why I'm here is to bring more children to this earth so they can be tested and live out His plan, I would feel like having children is not worth it. It's stressful and costs a lot of money.

In fact, yesterday we received our hospital bills ... talk about charging for everything ... I'm pretty sure they charged me for every breath I took in that hospital room.

But I had no idea that having a child would be this hard. I think the lack of good sleep is taking its toll. It's nice of those who are more than willing to take care of our little cutie, but at some point, I'm going to have to feed her and that's hard.

But I'm doing fine. Again, please don't think I want pity. I realize there's a lot of people out there who are willing to help us, and I'm grateful for that, but as for now, I'm dealing just fine. It's been nice the past couple of days to just be able to relax at home with my little family.

I'm so grateful for Mike. He is truly an amazing husband and I'm so lucky to have him. I'm also grateful for the knowledge that I have and for the gospel. Making it through these tough days would be so much harder without having what I have.