What I learned yesterday is that no matter how fast I think we can be getting out of the house, we may never get out as soon as I might hope for.
We had to take K to the hospital again yesterday to get her bilirubin levels checked and I was hoping to be out of the house around 9 am. But by the time everyone was ready and fed, we didn't leave until almost noon. I didn't realize that by the time I was ready, she'd want to eat again and then by the time Mike was ready, it would be feeding time yet again.
We found out that K's jaundice is at a safe level now though so she doesn't have to lay on her bed anymore! So today after our nap, I held her and held her and it felt so good to finally be able to hold her without feeling guilty that she wasn't lying on her bili bed.
Last night around 1 am, she started screaming for a reason that we couldn't identify. Mike tried to console her but I wanted to hold her so we ended up cuddling close while I paced her room and she quickly stopped crying. I loved it. I think I loved that she stopped screaming more than anything.
But then around 3 this morning, she woke again for a feeding. I was a little worried yesterday afternoon because she usually is awake after her feedings in the afternoon but not yesterday and my worry was confirmed. After this 3 am feeding, she was wide awake. We ended staying up until almost 6 am.
So I've learned that I am truly on K's time schedule. I just barely remembered to eat lunch and I'm typing as fast as I can because she should wake up at any minute now. I can't wait until my time is a little bit more my time again. But wow, I love her.